KHAJURAHO....Poetry in Sandstone

How did we reach Khajuraho?

                                                     “Life is like a journey on a train”

We flew into Delhi from Guwahati, Assam and then caught the UP Sampark Kranti Express 12448/slip which becomes 22448 minus the slip. The “slip” factor is interesting and needs a little explanation. The Sampark Kranti ‘s scheduled trail is from Nizzamuddin (Delhi) to a place called Manikpur in Madhya Pradesh , but as the train reaches Mahoba  a few coaches are “slipped” off and attached to another engine which weaves its way to Khajuraho. We slept on without being disturbed only to wake up at Khajuraho at 7am.

Unlike other day train journeys in India which are veritable Grand Bazaars with hawkers selling everything and anything from mobiles to toys to “jhal –muri” and soothing Chinese balms, the S. Kranti being an over-night train was bereft of all the essentials that make a train journey in India so interesting. I also missed the nosey co-passengers who want to bet our complete bio-data to scrutinize and analyse. Instead we had for company groups of Vietnamese, Europeans and a couple of Indians, each carrying their own aromas in their packed dinner. We had to endure the tower of Babel till the lights went off for a sound sleep.

For those who have a penchant for air-travel, there is no direct flight from Delhi to Khajuraho, each flight entailing one stop in either Bhopal, Raipur etc. 

"You have to create your life.You have to carve it like a sculpture"

Western Group

I fell in love with the masons and sculptors who created the  commendably magnificent structures which today is Khajuraho.....sculptors long dead and gone buried unknown and unsung  .Only  undiluted  passion , unflinching commitment and deft fingers could have created such perfect bodies displaying life  in its minutest detail.

Much has been written about the acrobatically erotic and amorously lusty figurines, (which is just 12% of the sculptures), for which hordes of global and local tourists visit. They are beautiful and unsinful to view and appreciate, despite our hypocritical attitude towards sex today .Our guide Mahendra Singh, aged and knowledgeable, gave a philosophical interpretation to all the carvings, invoking tantricism and yoga which made every statue almost sacrosanct and blessed. Every act is a part of a much wider set of yogic practices which aim to make the human body flexible and healthy using postures, breathing and meditation to reach the ultimate.

Every detail of Life is depicted

Subtle humour can be discerned in some of the carvings. One which we noted was of an elephant smirking at a couple making love. Human emotions in every form are reflected by the artisans in their work.

A UNESCO World heritage site, it originally had 85 temples but today only 25 remain. Built in honour of Lord Shiva, Vishnu and the Jain patriarchs  they have withstood the ravages of nature and Man.

 Khajuraho ‘s chiselled work is as good as ,if not better, than  the Cathedral at Chartres (France) and Alhambra , Granada(Spain).        Many may disagree with me on the ground that the culture and period differ, but it goes without saying that the dedication and commitment of the workers in all three iconic places remain the same.

 There is not a single inch in each temple that has not been artistically carved.

The temple at 6.30am

\The best time to visit the temples is early morning (the gates open at 6.30am) or in the evening. As the sun rises the rays pour straight through the gate/ door striking the massive “lingam” located in sanctum of the Khandariya Mahadeva temple which is the largest /tallest in the campus. But as far as awesome sculptures are concerned the Lakshmana temples bags the prize. All the carvings are on the outer walls. The inside is serene and sublime!

     

Mid-day.......a wee bit hot

There is a cafe within the campus for the much needed cuppa after the awe-inspiring, adrenaline –gushing tour. Take a break and relax under the trees!!! Don’t forget to carry a water-bottle especially if it is sunny.    

We spent a full day in the area taking liberty to give our own interpretations which sometimes were a little naughty, annoying our respectable guide.  Preparations for battles, the ladies in their boudoir, animals being herded to the fields ....every aspect of life was represented with finesse and perfection.    The precision, the mathematical calculations and effort put in goes without saying. The temples reflect the grandeur and resplendence of the Chandela kings without whose patronage Khajuraho would have remained a flat land. 

"SCULPTURE IS THE ART OF THE INTELLIGENCE"..........Pablo Picasso

The temple grounds are immaculately maintained by the ASI with manicured lawns and flowers blooming. If nature’s call is too strong toilets can be located, tucked away in one corner.

                        

Don’t miss the Sound and Light Show where the Spirit of the sculptors is represented by Indian actor, Amitabh Bachcan’s voice.

 The Eastern and Southern temples also deserves a “dekko” but they are not as alluring as the eastern group.

Where did we stay?

I once read “I always wish the hotels were like they were in movies and TV shows, where if you are in Paris the Eiffel tower was right outside the window. In any part of Egypt, the Pyramids are right there.”

With these words in mind we selected Isabella Palace, which has been named after the owner's beautiful and charming daughter........but it was far from being a Palace.  A family –run budget hotel with 25 rooms , each room spick-and span , “sterilized and sanitized” as it were, with friendly staff who would walk the extra mile for you. You can while away your extra time in their small garden or take an ayurvedic massage from a burly, muscular guy who treats your body like a mould of clay. Breakfast is included in the package. The roof-top terrace is well lit with fairy lights after dusk creating an ambience that calls for a glass of “bubbly.” You get value for your money. 

                                 Picture of the hotel's garden from the balcony of our room

                                                            Well-maintained bed-room

Khajuraho Town

                                                “Walk the town to get its flavour.”

A touristy town with a population of about 35, 000 in the area that matters, it is planned and relatively clean. Everyone, big or small, knows a smattering of a foreign language thanks to the annual visitors. Dotted with little shops, cafes and hotels, you can go around in a bicycle, tuk-tuk, cars or walk. Prices for tourist guides and conveyance are fixed by the Tourism department, so chances of getting cheated are minimal. If you want to pick up knick-knacks, curios don’t go to the fancy outlets; the pedestrian shops offer things at half the price after a little haggling. For Maheshwari and Chanderi saris head to the state emporiums. 

  Let me end with Osho -speak.....”You have to pass through the door and go beyond. And the beyond is nothing but utter emptiness.”That is what Khajuraho symbolizes.

GardeningInPots

 GardeningInPots

                                      "A weed is but an unloved flower"

The pleasure of growing your own flowers is inexplicable. As a child, mother had a contingent of four gardeners (Malis) in the tea-gardens of Assam to grow an array of colourful flowers during the winter season in India. She had it all in her floral space from Sweet Williams to larkspur, verbenas and cosmos.  

 When I was fourteen Dad shifted to the hill station of Shillong where he bought a lovely house with a small garden. Mother did not have too many helping hands then but she managed a rambling garden full of pink and white azaleas, hydrangeas, cosmos, petunias and gerberas. Those days we didn’t have the ubiquitous cell-phone to click pictures randomly at everything and anything. A pity or else we could have framed some beautiful gardens for posterity.

Once I got married we always had a garden of our own in the different places of postings in small “mofussil” towns. But the children and my profession did not allow me to spend much time in the garden. Flowers were a plenty and vegetables in abundance but the credit goes to the gardeners who followed my instructions. They did a wonderful job. I remember Ram” mali”( we were in Dergaon then , a small town in Upper Assam) who would not let me point a finger at any flower lest the “evil eye” destroyed it. We had a split level lawn where the taller flowers were grown in the lower lawn and the smaller selection in the upper lawn. Trophies and awards came in after every flower show. But the credit was absolutely that of the gardeners. Kudos to them and to their knowledge of flowers and vegetables.

After 36 years of marital bliss, semi-retired and the children having flown the nest I now spend a lot of time growing flowers and herbs in pots. I do it all by myself  from scratch. No gardeners!!!!  It’s been a trial and error process and I have much to learn. This is my first year.

1. 2015, 20^th November

1.       I selected 80 pots and got them cleaned and painted. Next I made a mixture of soil and organic manure (cow-dung) and filled them up.

2.       I gathered my  tools , cleaned and ready.

My tools

2.  Bought a watering can for Rs. 200/- at the Agriculture Exposition in Guwahati, Assam

                 

3.                                

                                 3.     Visited the local nursery and bought the following saplings.

a)      2dozen petunias

b)      1 dozen verbenas

c)       1 dozen pansies

d)      1 dozen impatiens

e)      And the rest with tomatoes, lettuce, bell peppers , coriander, chillis and mint

                        

4. I watered them very lightly the first day and provided shade for two days to protect them from the hot mid-day sun. From the third day the shades were removed.

                             

5. After a few days I realized that birds love to chew on the young leaves, so something had to be done about it. I made a mesh with thread over the flowers to keep the chirpy featured creatures at bay. You can use shinny, glittering paper stuck to sticks to scare them away.To my dismay the little ones were persistent and still managed to nibble at a few leaves.

              

6. The saplings were planted on the 20^th of Nov.2015. After ten days I tilled the soil with a small spade and added a spoonful of organic manure. Every two weeks I will be adding a spoonful of manure for a month.

7. On the 3^rd Dec2015, fourteen days after the saplings were planted there was a strong wind and some rain. I was sure my plants were damaged. Next morning when I went up to the Terrace I found they were looking healthier than usual with the sun shining down on them.

8. Every morning and evening, I look forward to watering the plants. Its theraupatic  With plenty of sun-shine on the terrace ,the saplings look happy. They have grown in 20 days.

Tomato

Petunia

Chilli

Pansy

     

9. I have divided the plants into two groups and I plan to manure them every two weeks for a month. The first round has been done.

        10. After a Month (20^th December 2015)

  

      It’s a month now since I planted my saplings.  I have added manure  twice so far, and water them       once a day. Last week there was a heavy shower on two consecutive days, therefore watering was       not necessary for three days. Just insert your finger in the soil and see if it is moist. Over-watering       is harmful for plants, especially petunias. They hate cold and wet feet.

         11. As you can see below the lettuce is doing well. These simple leaves add to the garnishing              of a dish . It goes without saying that they are good for health too.

 

Lettuce

                                     

12. Tilling and weeding is a continuous process. I love my work on the terrace.

It is necessary to nip the ends of petunias, verbenas and pansies to get a bushy plant with more flowers. So once you have 8 to 10 leaves you can nip the end.

13. The versatility of the Mint goes without saying .A pretty decorative herb, it gives out a beautiful fragrance, good to make chutneys and can be used to repel flies . After one and half months of growth I had many pots of mint.

                                       

14. 10^th January

Today I saw my first Pansy bloom. My happiness knew no bounds. More so because it was just one day before my son’s birthday. The flowers were manured every two weeks for one month. Truthfully my soil was not very good, a little sandy; therefore frequent fertilizing of the plants was necessary. Now onwards,

                             

            Since they have started blooming ,I will be using liquid manure once a month.

15. Growing Coriander was a challenge. I had tried growing them once before but failed. I soaked the seeds in water. Next day, the seeds were split (halved) and then scattered them in a bowl filled with soil, covering it with cellophane to get a green-house effect.

                        

After 15 days they sprouted and by the end of 1  1/2 months  we could pluck enough to garnish a meal.

New sprouts (pic not clear because of cellophene)

   

16. The Chilli plant did not fare as well as I expected.  I expect the bell-peppers to do better....keeping my fingers crossed!!

Green Chillis

17. Today is the 22^nd of February, exactly 3 months 2 days since I planted my saplings. I have enough blossoms to make me happy. The vibrant Verbenas add vitality to my life. A few almost died. I actually talked to them and told them to fight and live because they were vivacious and beautiful.     

Verbenas

18. The petunias flower in profusion. They don’t like to be pampered. In fact they grow best in neglect.They come in a riot of colours adding beauty to the landscape.

the pinkies 

I love the “bloody red” petunias.They remind me of Love, Hope , Vibrancy which I need in abundance at the age of 59. 

19. The varied faced Pansies provide food for thought. You wonder whether they are happy or sad .They have a mystique to their existence.....my daughter says such beautiful flowers should not be called “pansies”; on seeing a Pansy my 3year old grand-daughter says"eyes,eyes,nose and mouth", my husband finds them foolish looking...... I adore them, dainty darlings all in a row.....

                                                

20. Impatiens is bright, cheerful and easy to grow. They don’t like too much water. These long lasting seasonals are easy to propagate.

                     

21. Kalanchoes are perennials, tropical, succulent, in many colours .Like most succulents they are easy to propagate.  Truthfully I never looked after them much but they did well with a little bit of liquid manure. They stand upright like the sentry guards and live long...adding hues to the garden. This plant is 2 years old.

                    

                    

  

This is my first blog on gardening and I hope to continue.More pictures will be posted, more colour, more radiance to add cheer to your life.

There is divinity to every action and so be it for gardening . As someone had said, Flowers  are “sunshine, food and medicine for the soul”

Why water colours?

Why water colors ? They don't appeal to art critics, they don't sell , they don't last . Water color artists are not as well known.....  but water color is simple against the harsh world , the simplicity which pervades your being and calms you .

My penchant for the medium started in school, where in our Art and craft classes we often ventured to paint a scenery with the medium . I never got enough attention from my teacher because it was not in me......she would meander her way to girls who had an innate talent to create beauties. Yet we did pick up a few techniques by observing the teachers and classmates. That we had to moist the paper before actually using the paint, that you could produce new colours by mixing the primary colours.....

Today was my second day at Art school and I am 54 years old.Shakti,my guru , asked me to buy a 0 and 000 numbered brushes and a few thicker ones. An eraser , a cloth, pallette, colors, HB pencil along with the paper. I picked camlin brushes and paints.

He taught me how to paint leaves in different shades of green,rust, brown, out-lining the veins ,darkening certain lines and softening others . Two hours on the same subject yet iI was engrossed , taking delight in the strokes, the shades , the transperency ..trying out my own combinations and lines.  

Mera Bharat Mahan.....post Independence Day musings

As I was rummaging through an old chest of books I came across a few copies of Blackwood’s Magazine dated 1958. The write-ups were not contemporary, the style was almost archaic you would say, especially after reading Chetan Bhagat’s popular “desi” pulp  and the writers are most probably all dead and gone to the land beyond.

The journal provided short, simple and interesting articles of which one was particularly appealing. It was written by a Scotsman who had been serving in a tea garden in Assam, India. His name was Stephen Hannay.

During one of his long annual vacation, Mr. Hannay decided to visit his home in Great Britain via Moscow. In his literary piece he has written about the Muscovites of 1958 as efficient, friendly and always anxious that foreigners visiting their city should see the right things, read the right stuff and in general enjoy themselves.

What struck me, as I read on, was the patriotism that seemed to burst at the seams of every Muscovite whether a child, teenage or adult. I am not saying that it is absent among us. It is there and it surges forth when our Indian team thrashes any other country( especially Pakistan) in cricket, we go berserk when a man of Indian origin makes a mark in the financial or literary world, when a woman of Indian descent goes to space (she may not have stayed in the country for a day). Wars have brought us together. We saw it during the Kargil episode. Yet our patriotism is fuzzy, unsure, sometimes accusative and definitely selective.

Hannay writes that the Muscovites (1958) were a proud lot and their sense of belonging to their city and state was over-powering. Public property was regarded as their personal property and kept clean and well-guarded. The pronoun "we" stands out in their conversation. “We built this road last year”, “We are working on  educational programs.”

The “we” sounds much better than the amorphous and anonymous “they”. Why do we like to shirk responsibility and utter “They litter the streets’, or “they should do something about it.” Should pointing our fingers at our neighbours and the Government become a matter of habit?

Stephen  Hannay writes that Russian children know a lot about their capital city---its history and geography, its architecture and its leaders. They can rattle off statistics from an early age about the weight of Catherine the Great‘s sleigh, the height of the ministerial buildings and even the length of a road. It may sound ridiculous but these small facts instil pride, pride that will make us forget that only Harijans are to clear the garbage, that scribbling on ancient monuments is not to be condoned and that it is more important to be conversant about the financial health of the nation than that of USA.  How many of our children know when the Saraighat Bridge was built over the Brahmaputra or who the Vice-president of India may be.   Should our children show interest only in statistics that approximate 36-26-36?

As a teacher I had once asked a seventh standard student who had written Gitanjali. “An old man with a white beard” was the reply I got. Does a Noble Laureate deserve such a fate in the hands of a twelve year old?

Why can’t we rise above caste and religious prejudices and unitedly declare “Mera Bharat is indeed Mahan”

Recipe : Walnut Brownies

Walnut brownies are the best kind of comfort food. It's easy to make, ingredients are available readily, and no one ever says no to them. I love mine a bit gooey but, just by adding or subtracting some ingredients, it's easy to make them crunchy. 

My baking god is Rachael Allen, and I usually play around with her recipes. This one has also been derived from one of hers, though some modifications have been made.

Main Ingredients:

75  grams flour

100 grams sugar

100 unsalted butter

25 grams coaco powder

100 grams cooking chocolate

3 eggs

1/2 tsp baking soda

Salt to taste

First and foremost, line the baking tin with parchment paper and butter the sides. If you don't have any lying around, then just use the paper which wraps our good old Amul butter. That's a neat trick which my Ma taught me. :) 

And preheat the oven at 200 centigrade. Even though you will be cooking at 180 later, it's always wise to preheat at a higher temperature, coz once you open the oven to put the tin in, a lot of heat escapes.

  

So we start the baking processby melting the cooking chocolate and butter. This can be done in the microwave for about 30 seconds. Many like to swing it old style by using a double boiler to melt the chocolate. Well if you have the patience, go for it.

Tip in the sugar, and mix it well.

After the sugar, butter and the chocolate combine, it's time for the eggs. Now here you need to be careful. Eggs always should be room temperature and beaten beforehand. Otherwise there is chance that, when you add them to the mix, it will curdle. 

I know it's very tempting to just crack open an egg right out of the fridge into the batter. That's what Nigella Lawson does, so why shouldn't you. Well like Nigella Lawson, we don't get retakes and secondly, a good brownie recipe does not have baking powder. So its left to the eggs to let it rise. So do not mess up the eggs.

So beat the eggs, and you can add a few drops of vanilla here. My husband,a vegetarian who had an egg for the first time only in college, somehow sniffs out the egg in everything. So to mask its smell, I add vanilla to everything egg-y.

Keep the flour ready. Sieve it with the cocoa, baking soda and salt (if butter used is unsalted). Do not skip the baking soda. That's what give the brownies the sexy rich brown color.

While mixing the eggs, if you feel as if it is curdling then just add a tablespoon of the flour to counter it. Keeping adding the flour spoonful at a time, while mixing the batter.

                 

You are almost nearing the end. So just check the consistency. If you want them a bit gooey then it should easily drop from a spoon when held up. If it doesn't, just add a spoonful of milk (room temperature, again).

At the end add the walnuts, and mix it gently.

Pour the batter into the lined tin and pop it into the oven. Do not forget to reduce the temperature to 180 centigrade. 

It should take about 25 minutes. But do check after 25 mins are up. If it passes the skewer test, then take it out and let them cool. Once cooled, cut into squares pieces.

Et Voila, Walnut Brownies are ready! :)

                        

IS GUWAHATI LIVEABLE

Is Guwahati  Liveable?

Guwahati has been envisioned as one of the 100 Smart cities of the nation by the Prime Minister of the country. It is an admirable and extremely noble vision which has to be concretized into reality. This is no small task though, what with the gargantuan civic problems looming large as life for everybody to debate upon. Every issue is substantially controversial to call for specialized teams to work upon with dedication, determination and drive.

What do we understand by a “Smart City,” you may ask ? The term is still in a blur; it is in an amorphous stage which is used to mean many things. What we are to understand is that it refers to not only hard infrastructure (bridges and buildings) but also knowledge, communication and social infrastructure. This is required for urban competitiveness, the base for growth and prosperity. It would imply a digital city, where full advantage is taken of the Information and Communication Technology. Citizens will be able to monitor pollution level, water leaks can be detected and rubbish heaps can send an alarm bell once the bins overflow.

Is this wishful thinking for the citizens of Guwahati? The chaotic state that we are in leaves us room to believe that it will decades if not a life time to see fruition of this policy.Given a better alternative many of us would leave the city.

The disarray of the traffic snarls keep all good citizens indoors. Rules are not strictly enforced. Drivers get disoriented with mo-bike riders weaving their way in  their insane frenzy from all directions, helmetless and sometimes shirtless adding fuel to the traffic fire. Zebra crossings are absent which make pedestrians ambivalent in their decisions to cross the roads. The over-worked police man is listlessly having a smoke in some shady corner only to become alert with the arrival of a VIP. The men behind the wheels are equally to blame. In the mad hurry to beat the rush, traffic –sense is abandoned or totally absent among the drivers. Poor road management provide enough reasons to make one crazy. I sometimes wonder how many drivers would actually qualify for a license if rules were strictly adhered. The desire to drive our own cars instead of availing the office car-pool, together with the failure of the authorities to act has added to the problem. Traffic is highest during work hours. Flexible work timings may ease the problem perhaps. A poor public transport option and lack of human decorum has compounded this knotty issue.

Garbage has become a voluminous problem. Unhygienic squalor marks the city, giving out a stench which is unbearable. These dumps are awash during the floods spreading the rot and muck across the city. The authorities during the recent floods did make an attempt to clean up the area but it is so deeply entrenched a problem that the government alone cannot solve it. Citizens must arise as if for a battle against the “garbage giant”, people must be educated to dispose unwanted stuff in the correct manner. Perhaps workshops can be held in educational institutions, clubs and associations on good civic sense. Yes, we all know what is to be done but channelizing our thoughts and gentling reminding the public on the “dos” and “donts”of living a sanitized life I am sure will be appreciated. Countries like Sri Lanka and Myannmar do not fall into the developed category, yet the insanitary grime that we see around us is totally absent in these small countries. Incidentally, in these countries the Human Development Index (HDI) is slowly progressing at a higher rate than in India.

The present water supply and power management has become a looming threat to the concept of a Smart City. A decade ago, water for household needs was not an issue during the monsoons. But recently even when the rains were sweeping across the city drinking water was not available in many so-called called” prime areas” where the price of land is mind-boggling.   Drained by the mighty Brahmaputra, can the people of Guwahati be deprived of the fundamental need of human beings.....water? Isn’t it ironic that with the river flowing within a few miles of your residence there is a shortfall of it? Water resource management and efficient handling of waste water should be given importance. The Guwahati Jal Board has been set up to provide uninterrupted supply of water, but how long it will take to concretise its policies remain unanswered. Only 30% of the population gets intermittent supply of water. The rest depend on ground water which always has the anger of being contaminated.

Environmental capital plays an important part in the growth of a prosperous City. With natural resources dwindling and unemployment increasing we must make full use of our environment to not only attract tourists but maintain a balance in our bio-diversity which indirectly affects our well being.

What has been done for geriatric care? Where are the old age homes or trained personnel for the aged and the infirm? With medical science improving, the average life-span has increased. The demographic change in the elder citizen category, double income lifestyles, emigration of children for better economic opportunities and the growth of the nuclear family has made the need for senior care all the more pertinent. Have we given enough heed to this aspect? Or are we waiting for the problem to take on criminal dimensions. Can the aged lead the winters of their lives with dignity?

 From where does the Chief Minister draw the required talent? What about the mind-set of the citizens which has to completely change if they want a modern metropolis. We have to move with the times and adapt to the changing world.

Speed is the mantra of the Universe that we live in. The world has been wired, as it were, and we get an over-load of information instantaneously. We buy, sell, order, chat, and eat through the digital world. The young and the middle aged have no patience. They want positive results to make Guwahati Liveable.

What the Chief Minister needs to do is whip the lash firmly and bell the cat!!

The Journey - 35 years and counting.

[Disclaimer : This entry has not been written by Arundhati Kakati, but rather for Arundhati Kakati. So groupies of Mam Kakati, you have been forewarned.]

Today my parents will be married for 35 years. That is a very long time. I mean, I haven't even lived for so many, let alone be married that long. So what is the secret to their happy union, you ask?

"Everyone likes a good argument, consensus is less interesting." That is line from a popular soap opera, and I think it basically sums up my parents. They are different, polar opposites.

My father is a man of hard science (he studied Physics and Mathematics), whereas Ma majored in history, enjoys poetry. Baba enjoys the precision and patience required in carpentry which he delves into, in his free time; my mother likes to write and pot varied flowers. Even when they cook, their approaches are very different. If Baba is cooking for two people, I can assure you there won't be a morsel left over for a third person. Ma cooks with a freer hand. Sometimes we eat party leftovers for days. 

So how do they make it work? Shouldn't they be warring constantly? They do, a wee bit. But I will get to that later. First, lets talk about happy stuff, shall we?

What they do have in common, is a love for new experiences. That's the thread that binds them together. They can find something interesting to do even in the most godforsaken place on earth (many of which my father has been posted to). I have this theory, that you can send my parents into any warring zone (Gaza, Syria, Newshour Debate with Arnab; take your pick) and somehow they wouldn't be just alive, but dancing to a bootlegged copy of 'Happy by Pharell."

So here is how opposite forces work. They just rub into each together. I have sat through many a boring discussions in my adolescence, where I have heard my Mother passionately explain the meaning of 'Charge of the light brigade', and Baba, patiently listening and then countering her interpretation. And roles reverse when Baba lectures her on the Keynesian theory, black holes, Planck theory and she dutifully listens and then rushes to the Encyclopaedia (remember those fat books) to create a counter.

Yes, of course sometimes arguments run too long and turn bitter. Ideas and principles log heads. But what I find interesting is their accusations. She goes, "You're mad. I am sure you are a little mad. All very intelligent people are mad. Look at Einstein". And he counters, "You are so dramatic. I know, it's because you are a cusp (half Pisces, half Aries), that makes you such a diva!"

Einstein! Diva! I wonder sometimes do they even realize, that they are actually lauding, while they are trying to hurl insults at each other? If I didn't specifically mention that they were arguing, I wouldn't blame you, for thinking that this is bedroom talk going on.

In tragedy, they find admiration. Well, they also do find admiration in tragedy. Read on.

 Once we were travelling in the standard government issued gypsy with us kids in the back and Baba driving. Suddenly he started belting Bhupen Hazarika's Moore Dusokue suwa ghone ghone (which he swears that the bard wrote with him and Ma in mind), and he leaned over very romantically to kiss Ma. And the gypsy swerved right into a pothole. Mind you, it is easy to assume that he had a few too many, but he was as sober as a nun. Drunk was he, in love. Can you imagine what a tragically comical headline it would have made if the pothole had been something deeper: "Cop & family perish while kissing on the wheel."

They are a team, a tempestuous one, no doubt but still a team. They have done a good many things together, even added on the inches together. They brought up two kids, to be decently successful upstanding citizens (well, at least my brother is!)

Many young mothers ask Ma, how she raised her kids with such efficiency. My mother spouts an eloquent philosophy which young Mommies eat up. But I'll tell you the real dope. Talk, talk to your kids. Never allow that channel of communication to close. My parents never did. Even today, (I am married and almost 30), I find an open door.

I idolized my parents as a child. I not only wanted to please them, but I think both my brother and I never really had too many close friends while growing up because very few could match up to my parents. And it remained so, until I became an adult and the idolatry converted into a deep mutual respect.

So happy anniversary, kids. I'm sorry I am not closer, but promise to be there for your 50th.